Rough, Rough Surgery Day....or at least AFTER surgery day....

So, I wrote this out yesterday, and was almost done when the post magically disappeared.  Lovely.  I was too disheartened to rewrite it, so just posted pictures to Facebook instead.  =P  Right now my lovely little lady is having herself a good nap (she's been resting, but very fitfully all day), and I would go to sleep myself if I knew I wouldn't be interrupted every 15 seconds.  Or half an hour.  Or whatever inbetween there might be reality.  I think that after I started writing this there was a 45 minute lapse in interruptions - guess I SHOULD'VE taken that nap.  =P  I DID fall asleep earlier today.  Sitting on Ruby's wheelchair by her bed, with my hand on her back.  Until the nurse came a knockin' on the door and woke disoriented me up.  I'm tired.  

Playing with silly Daddy-o in the rec room

But!  Without further adieu...onto yesterday's happenings...probably followed by today's happenings.  If this doesn't mysteriously disappear again.  =P 



"I like my hat!"

Okay, so we got to the hospital yesterday morning with a rather cheerful gal.  She talked some to the nurses - normally she goes into shut-down mode, so her talking surprised some of them - one lady even commented on how Ruby was actually talking this time.  Yes, she does talk.  Just not apparently very much at the hospital.  =O  Anyhow, things were going fantastically.  We had play time in the rec room.  We had worship.  Ruby had her finger prick...okay, that didn't go so great.  You'da thunk they were killing her with the scream she let out.  =O  After that, she talked to Isaac, Jadelyn, and Gram on the phone.  Then, we went down to the OR "holding tank".  Ruby continued to do fantastically - visiting with the nurses, being a silly goose with her surgery hat, you know...stuff like that.  She picked out a whitish/yellow color for her cast, but the nurse talked her out of it since that color gets dirty so easily.  Ruby settled on pink.  PINK, pink.  BRIGHT pink.  But you know, I have to let her have some choices in life.  =O  The nurse gave her some "happy juice" which made her so relaxed last time that she could hardly hold her head up.  This time, I didn't notice any for-sure effect from the medication.  When it got closer to the time to head back to the OR, I saw Ruby looking worried.  I asked her if she wanted to pray one more time.  She said, "I want you to stay with me".  Way to tear your Mommy's heart out, Rubes.  Soon after that, they wheeled her away.  Ruby screamed bloody murder down the hall and around the corner.  We left the "holding tank" and heard her for a little in the other hall.  Not too happy.  I think she told me that she kept screaming until they put her to sleep.  Or something.  I'm tired.  Did I mention that, yet?  In fact, I'm falling asleep at the keyboard.  At 2:15 in the afternoon.  Oh, boy.

Anyhow...surgery went better than last time, even.  The bone graft took spelendidly and so they didn't need to use any screws or pins again.  Which means we don't have to come back and get them out, which was Ruby's big fear of surgery.  Yee-haw!  =) 



"My IV hurts, Mommy."

We got to see Ruby again about 5 hours after they wheeled her away.  She looked rough, like last time, but it soon became apparent that she felt even rougher than last time.  Not too long after being back in our room, David noticed that one of her poisitioning pillows was wet.  Lovely.  We both smelled it.  It didn't smell of urine, so we figured the catheter wasn't leaking.  We were worried that it was an epidural leak like I had heard about on a support group on Facebook.  The first shift nurse put a diaper in the hole to see if the catheter was leaking or not.  Not.  Dr. Montgomery, the anesthegiologist, came by and checked out the inside of her cast as far as he could reach.  He determined that it wasn't wet.  So Ruby continued her epidural meds, but quite often was in a lot of pain, still.  Later, during another turn with the night nurse, we discovered ANOTHER big wet spot on a positioning pillow.  The nurse called Dr. Montgomery, who could come in at 9pm.  In the meantime, the epidural was shut off and Ruby began just getting morphine (I think) through her IV.


Doosey of a cast

Around 4pm or so, Ruby was feeling quite good and decided that she was feeling up to visitors.  David and I foolishly went along and asked Gram to bring Isaac and Jadelyn up when they woke up from their nap.  By the time they got here, Ruby wasn't feeling so hot and was very tired.  Isaac let me know early on in their visit that he had been praying for Ruby.  Melts my heart.  =)  Isaac was goofing around at some point and it made Ruby want to laugh, but it hurts her when she laughs, so she didn't.  She told me that we have to "be careful" about funny stuff.  Soon after they got here, Ms. Hannah and Ms. Judy from church showed up with supper for us - awesome!  So the kiddos and Daddy-o ate, we all visited, and Ruby?  Well, she went to sleep in the midst of it all.  They all left around 7:45pm, and I kept Ruby awake waiting for Dr. Montgomery, figuring she'd do better with him if she stayed awake rather than being woken up from her drugged sleep.  It was a struggle to keep that gal awake, for sure!  Second shift nurse, Rhonda, called Dr. Montgomery up and got Ruby's pain meds increased, as she was consistently rating her pain as an 8 or 10 on a scale of 10.  Dr. Montgomery finally came around 9:20pm.  Said that he figured in the OR that the epidural had gotten bumped when putting the cast on.  Now, I don't understand why if he figured that is what happened, why didn't he draw the conclusion of a leaking epidural sooner, and why did he not do something to fix Ruby's pain problem sooner?  AH!!!!  Anyways, supposedly her cast didn't get soaked with the epidural leak, so should be okay and not need a new cast.

Checkin' in on Rubes

Last night we had some "good" periods and some bad periods.  All related to pain management.  She is supposed to hit her button every 6 minutes for pain medication, but as you can imagine, that doesn't happen so well when you're asleep.  =P  And I can't hit it for her, so we relied on the nurses to come in and hit it.  It happened sometimes, and other times I don't think it did (I was sleeping, too =O). 

Today, Ruby has been in lots of pain.  Pretty consistently rating it still as an 8 or 10.  Dozing most of the day, but only for a few minutes at a time (which actually came in handy so I could have her push her button), but now she's been sleeping for nearly 2 hours.  Poor, exhausted girl.  And the morphine is making her scared.  She doesn't know what she's scared of, she's just scared.  She's scared sometimes just laying in bed with me right by her, sometimes she's scared if I have to leave her for a few minutes to go to the bathroom or to go grab some food from the parent lounge.  Someone came to fix the part of her cast around her pottying area, as the hard shell was touching her skin.  She screamed and screamed and screamed (though not NEAR as loud as normal, as her chest is still not cleared up.)  It didn't make logical sense.  I kept telling her that her medicine is confusing her, and that explanation seemed to help a minute amount.  =P  When I ask her to tell me what face she is feeling, she started showing me one face for her "scared" and one for her hip.  And she's a 6 on the scared scale she made up.  Rotten.

Her oxygen has also gotten as low as 80, and her heart rate got to well over 170 when they were finally taking the epidural out.  One tube down...4 to go.  Few more days of this mess and then we'll go home and recuperate...=)

2 More Nights....

Two more nights at home until the next hospital round.  One more day at home.  I thought I wasn't going to get nervous this time around, but it's finally starting.  Good grief...I'm about to turn into a mess!  =O

Ruby is handling it all like a champ.  She tells people about how her next cast will go down to her toes on both legs and how it will have a "stick" in the middle.  She tells me that she doesn't want all the "tubes" again.  Hoping her good attitude will continue through the morning on Wednesday when she gets her blood drawn, and when we have to put her into a gown (since this doggone cast makes it so she can't dress herself). 

I thought I was brave and strong now.  I thought wrong.

Mom of Multiples Introduction....

Getting "Married"  =)

My husband and I had always wanted kids.  In fact, I've looked back at things we wrote at pre-marital counseling and found that we both wrote that we wanted twins.  Crazy.  Well, a few years into our marriage, we decided we were "ready" for kids.  But just weren't able to conceive.  Enter a very frustrating year.  Finally went to see a doctor, who prescribed Clomid, but the lowest dose.  When we went to pick it up from the pharmacy, the pharmacist had a little consultation with us about how this could increase our odds of having a multiple pregnancy.  I told the pharmacist that our doctor had told us this, but told us that our chances were very slim since we were on such a low dose.

A month later, I went back to the doctor.  They did a pregnancy test (which I didn't know at the time...I was naive, I suppose), but it came back negative.  A few days later, I took a test at home (with my husband present - they wouldn't let him back in the room at the doctor's office because he showed up late) and it was positive!  When we were just a few weeks along we had an ultrasound that let us know we were having twins.  The doctor was teary.  My husband was teary, and I just said, "I don't know how to take care of one baby - how am I going to take care of two?!?!?!"  Ha.

Later in the pregnancy, my sister, who is an ultrasound technician, did an ultrasound and found a cyst on "Baby B"'s brain.  She told us it would probably go away, but to tell our doctor.  So we did.  We were referred to a maternal-fetal specialist, as it was a "high-risk" pregnancy.  Like my sister predicted, the cyst went away, and "Baby B" was fine.  But during one of our many, MANY appointments with the specialists, we were told that the blood flow to our little girl, "Baby A", was stopping and that she had really low amniotic fluid, and due to the blood-flow issues, she would probably not survive.  In fact, the doctor told us that after they were born, they could perform tests on our little girl to see what caused her death.  And then proceeded to walk out of the room, taking a cell phone call from "Walter" (funny how we can imagine such little things) and acting like nothing was wrong.  My husband and I sat in shock.  We went home.  We cried (or at least I did =O).  We prayed.  Other people prayed.  A pastor and some others came to our house and annointed me and prayed for our little girl.  Next time we went back to the specialist, we were told that "Baby A" still had low amiotic fluid, but the blood-flow issue was resolved.  The doctor told us that he didn't know what we were doing, but to keep doing it.  I told him we were praying.  ;)

So, my twins, Ruby and Isaac, were born on Dec. 12, 2006. Big kiddos now. =O And what do you know? We, who were unable to conceive, received a BIG surprise when later we found out we were unexpectedly expecting ANOTHER little girl, and our little stinker Jadelyn is nearly 3 now. ;)

A few notes about the Crazios...

Yesterday, Ruby commented that it's a good thing they didn't put a cast on her mouth....'cause then she couldn't talk.  About a half an hour later or so, we were putting them down for bed, and Ruby wanted to kiss me...so she noted another good reason they didn't put a cast on her mouth is because then she couldn't kiss.  =)

Isaac loves the shop-vac that we use for vacuuming Ruby's cast with the cast cooler.  He's vacuumed out the van and vacuumed in the house....yesterday I went back to his room where the vacuum was running to find him peeling stickers off his shirt and sticking them down the vacuum hose.  Crazy kid.  On a side note, there are stickers all OVER the place.  Wowzers....people sure gave us LOTS of stickers!  =)

This morning I was telling Jadelyn how I had the "Hungry Cow" song stuck in my head and asked her if she had a song stuck in her head.  "No.  Just hair."  Oh, literal Lynnie.  =)

I had some story about Lynnie I was going to write last night, but I didn't write it and now I forget it.  =O

Ruby is doing GREAT with her cast.  She still mentions how she wishes she didn't have it, but for the most part she's been quite happy.  When she wakes up from her nap, she bangs around on the baby monitor to let me know that she's ready to get up.  And when I go to get her, she has the BIGGEST happy smile on her face and the shiniest eyes, and oh, that girl.  I love her.  Isaac is starting to have some jealousy problems - wishes he was Ruby so he wouldn't have to take the sheets off his bed or so he would get mail (I have GOT to make him a card...)  He's been just irritating his sisters as much as he can.  Guess he's having a harder time coping with this cast than Ruby is.  =P  I'm taking him on a "date" to Wal-Mart tonight.  Just the two of us.  He's geeked.  And the girls?  They don't know.  It's our little "secret".  =O

Isaac had a fever when we got home from the hospital on Friday, and had it some on Sabbath, so we missed church.  Much to Ruby's chagrin.  Isaac kindly shared whatever bug it was with Jadelyn, who has had a fever since Monday, I think.  Last night it was up to 103.4.  YIKES!!!  =O  Hoping she gets better soon and that Ruby is left out of that kind of sharing.  =P

Yesterday was a rough day for me.  Due in part to the kids attitudes, probably, but mostly due to MY attitude.  =O  So, when David came home, he sent me out mowing.  Therapy for my soul, I tell ya!   ;)  And now my yard looks presentable....or at least more than the hayfield my yard was becoming looked.  =O

Okay, that's probably it.  Maybe sometime I'll get around to posting pictures.  'Cause we've got some great ones.  Crazy kids.

Day 3 in the Hospital

Yesterday was quite a day.  Lots of Ruby awake time – lots of talking – lots of happy time.  Also lots of screaming bloody murder when getting moved or getting tape off.  Poor girl is just scared and worn out.

It was a big day.  "Just-in-case" IV out (it was hurting her - or maybe just scaring her after the first stinging time - when they flushed it), Epidural out (screamed like crazy 'cause the tape hurt and didn't come off easy), catheter out (has gone pee 3-4 times since in her bedpan), they stopped monitoring her Oxygen and heart rates (which I think is stupid since her Oxygen was dropping into the 80s and her heart rate was still up in the 140s/150s), and went out and about in her wheelchair for the first time (to go to the rec room and play Chutes and Ladders and "Sorry", which didn't work well since she can't see the board as she's looking up at the ceiling pretty much, but we managed).  Following her "out and about" time, she was in what looked to be bad pain for the next hour or so.  Probably overdid it on that one.  =(  Dozed only a few times yesterday and so by night time she was EXHAUSTED but just about manic - talking and cheerful and talking and talking and talking and talking and...did I mention that she was talking?  ;)  She didn't want to shut down for the night and had a little cry when I told her that we would finish looking through the bag from Ms. Sally again in the morning.  Crazy gal.  Oh, and they also re-wrapped the top of her cast to cover where they cut it the day before.  Ruby's three questions about that one - how long will it take?  What color will it be?  Will I get wet?  No screaming, though, I don't think.  It took them a while to get the stuff together, which gave me lots of explaining and reassuring time. 

She had some visitors yesterday - Paster and Mrs. Clark stopped by with a little stuffed lamb which Ruby has surprisingly named a normal name - "Sheepie" - and a card.  Sheepie is for wiping her tears so her soft blanket won't get stinky.  Or something.  She's quite particular that her soft blanket not get wet with sweat, tears, or anything else wet.  Because then it's stinky and not nice to sniff.  ;)  When the Clarks were here, Dr. Montgomery stopped by to take the epidural out.  He wisely shooed the Clarks out of the room, and proceeded to take the tape off and epidural out.  Didn't go real smoothly and Ruby screamed absolute bloody murder the entire time.  Later the PT stopped by and said that the Clarks looked a bit traumatized standing outside the room.  =O  Anyways, when they came back in, Pastor Clark wiped Ruby's tear with Sheepies paw, and Sheepie has stayed by her ever since.  =)

Mr. Bill from church also stopped by for a visit, and we got some AWESOME flowers from Smell.  (Thanks, you stalker you!  =D)  They get commented on a lot.  And I got pictures.  Which I will need to post for you sometime.

Ruby's much more likely lately to talk to the nurses and visitors, but not so much with the doctors.  Or her male nurse.  They seem to scare her a bit.  =O  And she's not all about phone conversations, either, which is STRANGE since she will normally talk on the phone at any given opportunity and beg for other opportunities along the way.  ;)

Some things Ruby did that about melted my heart yesterday: decided that she wants to give away all the pictures we're coloring.  To "poor" people.  Meaning, to her, I think, people that are hurting.  She named two particular people she wanted to give them to, but the only one I can remember is Baby Mercy.  She thinks that Baby Mercy (who had heart surgery when she was just a few weeks old and is now only a few months old, and also who Ruby has never met) will like looking at it when she's older.  I told her that Baby Mercy might like looking at it now.  She thinks that we should write "I love you" at the top for all the "poor" people she gives her pictures to.  I'm glad she's thinking of others.  =)  Also, we were playing with special stickers that you can scrape off like a waxy purple coating to reveal sparkly silver underneath, and she wanted me to draw a heart on the sandcastle - "to remind me of Jesus" or something.  And last night when she was jerking so bad and often and getting scared because it felt like her bed was tipping and she was moving, she asked me to pray that Jesus would make her not jerk anymore that night.  So I did.  First tears I've had at the hospital, I tell you.  I'm so glad that Ruby is learning to love Jesus! And she trusts Him.  She told me this morning during one of her awake for med/turning/diaper/vitals time that she thinks she is all done jerking now.  Sweet girl.  And to top it all off, she sang several times yesterday.  Not as boisterously as usual, but still singing - Silent Night, "The Lord is with me, I will not be afraid", Only a Boy named David, My Mommy told me Something, and one more I can't remember. 

Also, I love that Ruby has no desire to watch TV.  And when she was in the rec room yesterday and offered an IPad she said "no" quickly.  Not real enthralled with that type of entertainment, that gal.  She's always been an active, hands-on, bossy type.  And with lots of independence.  Now, to find things that she CAN do on her own!!!  I'm gonna have David whip us up an easel-tray-thing to go over her so when she's laying on her back she can color/look at books, etc., and the hope is that when she's stronger and not hurting, she'll be able to play with things on the floor while laying on her belly...which will also be good for her neck muscles, which aren't doing so hot right now - her head just flops back when she gets picked up.  Oh, and her free leg muscles ain't so hot, either, so we'll work on that today.  Her arms and hands are MUCH stronger, thanks probably to her eating some, and all our coloring/game exercises where mean Mom has made her move her arms all over the place.  =)  Oh, and we are gonna be on the look out for magnetic games, which we can prop up when she's on her side so she can actually see what she's playing.

Ruby has told me that she won't be scared at home because she knows where everything is.  But she will want a guard on her bed so she won't fall out.  Good thing Lynnie's done with it!  ;)  She has also told me multiple times that she wishes she could get the cast off...poor gal.  I'm afraid of how afraid she will be going in to this for the left side (finally got the dates yesterday - May 9 for the second surgery and hopeful cast-off date for June 29) since she knows the pain that will come.  Well, I will do my best to find peace in Jesus and not worry about it!  =O  Learning times are here.  May I develop the character, patience, and unselfishness that I need!

Adios!

Surgery and such....

This Ruby gal is a trooper. And so are her sweet siblings. Just had to get it out there. =)

Yesterday morning started bright and early - 4am for me. I got about 2.5 hours of sleep Sunday night, according to my expert calculations. =P Lovely. Anyways...got Ruby up and ready and hit the road. Things at the hospital were MUCH less crazy this time around - no 3 people talking to us at one time. Just more laid back. We even had 20 minutes or so to walk around and go outside and stuff before we had to be back in and put the gown on. Ruby enjoyed looking at the toys in the rec area and riding on the big glider swing thing out in the courtyard. ;)

Ruby walked back to the pre-op area and was doing pretty good back there until she got more nervous. Duh. Anyways, that was probably around the time the anesthegiologists showed up. Anyhow, they weren't going to give her any "happy juice" because she seemed fine, though they noticed that she was hugging her soft blanket extra tight. I told them that she wouldn't be so fine when being taken from Mommy, so they gave her some "happy juice". When they were giving it to her, Ruby jumped as this syringe-like thing came at her - told me later she thought they were giving her some blood - so she asked "what is this for" and didn't take it until she found out it was to help her feel more happy. Sure enough relaxed her. To the point that she was just silly loopy - head tilted to the side, not remembering things, not really answering questions, mouth hanging slightly open. And once she got good and doped up, they brought out an electric car thing for her to drive to the OR. Man. She's a bad driver WITHOUT drugs. With it? Help us all. =) She almost ran over one of the anesthegiologists before he wisely "helped" her and her bobbing, floppy head steer her car down the hall and around the corner. She didn't even say goodbye to us!

Surgery went incredibly well - took about 4 hours, and no pins or screws were required as her bone graft took well. And the hip was stable enough that Dr. Walker didn't need to tighten any ligaments. We finally saw her about 5 hours after she drove away. She had been crying for Mommy and Daddy in the recovery room. Wonder why they wouldn't let us back there? Hmmm...anyways...

She was tired, but unable to sleep. Pain free until about 5pm. And then last night it got worse - slight crying when they move her, but she says her hips really hurt. She didn't get a "good" nap in until today when she slept around 30-40 minutes while David was up here with her. And now she's been sleeping pretty much for the past hour and a half or so? Minus the frequent jerking awakenings that make her cry a little. She is afraid because she feels like she's moving. Lovely side effect of the medication. But you know...can't imagine how much pain she'd be in without it.

Today she told me something like, "I wish the cast was off already" and that she wishes that she only had to wear it "for like 30 minutes" or something. Oh. And that she wishes that David or I or Isaac had to have the surgery instead of her. =P Poor girl...this is gonna be a long haul.

Today Isaac, Jadelyn, David, Grandma and Grandpa got to come visit. Ruby was excited about it, but not too enthusiastic when they were here for the most part. Just doesn't feel up to it. They visited a little, then Isaac, Jadelyn, Karl and Linda and I headed out for a picnic at the park. It was lovely. I was beat tired and felt bad for "leaving" Ruby (though David stayed with her) but you know...a Mom's gotta take care of ALL her kids, right? Isaac and Jadelyn were missing their nap, but stayed sweet and kind and loving the whole time. I about fell asleep sitting on a bench at one point. Isaac then took me to a more private "room" in which to rest. =) Love that guy. They didn't particularly want to leave the park when it was time, but Isaac was excited to come back to the hospital to see Ruby. Love watching how much he loves that gal!

When we got back, David headed out to Wal-Mart with Karl and Jadelyn to pick up a few things, but Isaac stayed behind. Right by Ruby's bed for the most part - "playing" with her and sharing with her and overall warming my heart. He didn't want to leave tonight - not sure if that was from pure love for his sister or because he was having such a ball making the pinwheel spin like crazy in front of the fan. ;) I like to think it was mostly the former. ;)

After they all left, Ruby and I did some "coloring". Ruby points to what we're going to color and then points to what crayon she wants to use. She loves it, and we have done lots of it. She and David also "colored" this afternoon. I enjoy spending the time with her, and really like the "therapy" it gives to her arms. She has kept them up close by her face holding her blanket that it hurts her to move them. But her range of motion is much improved today - I like to think it's a direct result from our "coloring". ;) We looked through some presents that Ms. Sally from David's work had brought up. Wowzers. This gal has some PRESENTS! People are so very thoughtful and somehow know just what she will like! We also played a game of Old Maid which she whooped me at. ;P And then she was looking beat tired, so I asked her if she wanted to rest. She wanted to and boy, has she! I straightened up the room much to my OCD relief, and she slept and slept and slept. Minus the aforementioned jerks. Here's to hoping for a good night's sleep! For her. And me. ;)

Tomorrow....

The thought of it fills me with anxiety and dread...tomorrow my sweet little Ruby will be put through an incredible amount of pain and fear and craziness. Tomorrow, though it scares me, will be nice to have over - we've been wanting Ruby "fixed" for a long time and feels like we've had to fight and fight and fight to get the doctors to listen. I just want her out of surgery. Out, out, out. 5 hours is going to be a long time. But, hey...if I use my time wisely, maybe, just maybe, I'll get lots more "fear" memory verses memorized! How I need them. How I need Jesus. How I need prayers. And how I need sleep. So off I go. 4am comes awfully early.